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Friday, September 26th, 2008
6:09 pm - What Wonderful "Friends"!

Do you know what I'm doing right now?

I'm sitting all alone at home.

Do you know where my "friends" are?

Having a big party.

Yes, without me.

Which doesn't seem so bad, right? I mean, what's one party?

Well I can tell you. I'm the person who's there for everyone. I'm the America of friends, the open ear to all, the person who loves everyone and's always happy, and bends over backwards for her friends. When they need rides? If I have the gas and time, I drive them. When they're having a fight with their "significant other", I was the one who saved the birthday by buying cake and food, and making it a real party.

But do you know what? After being one of their best and most consistent friends for oh, I dunno, 6 years now, I'm suddenly not invited to a party. Not only that, but they compounded that royal "fuck you" feeling by asking if I was going. Of course I'm not going! I wasn't invited!

And do you what this all links to? I finally did better than them on one fucking English essay. Apparently, they liked me too much as the "not quite up to snuff" friend more than the "finally up to par" friend. Which is insane, considering that I take all the same courses, and get only marginally lower grades! But no. After taking a higher English then they did last year, I got a better grade on the first AP English paper this year (we're all in the same level again). Not only did I do better, but one got a D and the other an F. I got an A. It's the first time that's ever happened, and wow, look how fast big, stupid Sam got dropped!

Then, after the total bitch (though I shouldn't call her that, as  she'd take it like a compliment) "accidentally" asked the uninvited me if I was going (She claims she didn't know, but clearly she did. She has a history of crap like this), she "invited" me to come anyway. Uhh, hello! I've read the entire volume of "Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior". Twice. No I'm not going to a party that I wasn't really invited to!

And the hostess of the party, while this was going on, didn't jump in to really invite me. Nope. She knew that I wouldn't come if I wasn't properly invited.

It wouldn't be too awful, even, if my "wonderful best friends" hadn't been such douchebags previous. This is going to need a little back story. I'm 5'6", and 138-140lbs, no creative counting. During the summer of last year, I went from 155lbs down to 126lbs.

Over the space of a year and nearing a half, I've gained back about ten of those pounds. Still, I'm decently tall. I went from a size 13 to a size 4-6, and now I'm an 8. My good friends I share clothes with vary from exactly my size, to a little smaller. However, in the last 6 months or so, they've taken to saying I'm too "bootylicious" to fit in some of their clothes.

Excuse me? How the fuck does my steadily growing rear end tie into the shirt I want to borrow?

Essentially, "bootylicious" is their way of giving a faux-compliment to tell you you're getting fat.

Well thank you. I totally hadn't noticed!

Yeah. The way I lost the weight in the first place was because I didn't eat for days on end, while being on my feet for eight hours a day. Excuse me if I don't want to repeat the process. The worst part is that everyone who isn't one of my "friends" compliments me all the time.

Right now, I feel like I only have two real friends. One of them is at college, and the other is a guy. We can't have sleepovers. I can't ask for a night of "feel better time" to get the crying out, then feel better and laugh and have a great time. Besides. We're best friends, but he has his other friends, too. If you ever met this guy, you'd want to monopolize all his time, too. He always makes time for me, but...

He can't replace the other five.

So here I sit, wallowing in my own misery, wishing to every star in the sky that everything could be better. Please, please tell me that everything will get better.

current mood: Anger/Sadness

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Tuesday, October 4th, 2005
6:55 pm
ihatemyfriends2 hi my friend pissed me off one day so i started a journal called ihatemyfriends2 so i just wanted to ask the owner of this journal if he/she had a problem with it and if he/she does have one to please tell me and if any of you guys wanted to check it out, please do

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Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
6:09 pm

I don't actually hate my friends either, which defeats the purpose of this whole community, but I have been going through a lot of troubles. It started this summer, when my friends got drunk, and I went with them...My roomate happened to like the same guy I did, and it wasn't very enjoyable when Lucas(piss drunk) asked to kiss another girl, and the guy I liked was supposed to kiss my roomate...It was supposed to be a joke at first, but they were physically attracted to eachother so they ended up going out, and I was just so awfully pissed. They are still kindof friends with me, but I'm so incredibly pissed at them for making my vacation hell. Damn. Me and Lucas are still very good friends, but I've never dealt with something like that, and when it happened, it was like a slap on the face. Currently, I'm not mad at anybody, but I don't feel like my friends really care about me. I feel like one of their pawns on a chess board. I don't know anymore. But I hope old wounds will heal, and I can move on, a lot stronger then I was before.

current mood: awake

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Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
7:28 pm - i just joined...you dont care

whats up everyone just wanted to let ya know id joined your happy little community...

current mood: bored

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